Secret Love

What fantastic about an affair is the adrenalin rush
Yet, I know this is wrong
But the comfortness in his arms is what I need
I feel guilty each time I see the smile on her face
That I am about to take over her happiness

Puisi-Puisi Anti RUU APP

Puisi-puisi yang ditulis kala "panas" dengan hak kepemilikan tubuh perempuan yang hendak direnggut. Yang ditulis kala "panas" dengan rasa terintimidasi. Yang ditulis kala "panas" saat merasa tidak dilindungi, terancam, terhakimi, oleh RUU Pornografi/Pornoaksi


TELANJANGI AKU

Raut wajahmu
Di hadapan ketelanjangan jiwaku
Menutupi pusaka juwita
Pertanda cinta dalam pelukan sang pujangga
Kala aroma tubuh polosmu menyelimuti aku
Menghangatkan aku dari dinginnya kesepian
Yang menusuk biru tulang-belulang
Disatukan dalam tiupan surgawi
Aku hanya milikmu
Payudara, bokong, paha, punggung, lengan

Telanjangi aku
Dengan bait-bait puisimu...

Maret 2006



APA SALAH TUBUHKU?

Apa Salah Tubuhku?
Sampai tega kau masukkan penjara
Kala sedikit kulit ingin bercumbu dengan udara
Sampai tega kau tatap penuh benci
Kala Ia bertanya arti eksistensi
Sampai tega kau rebut hak
Kala Ia ingin mencari setara

Apa salah tubuhku?
Apakah karena Tuhan menciptakannya begitu indah?

Margonda, 8 Maret 2006

*Selamat hari perempuan sedunia



LAGI-LAGI, APA SALAH TUBUHKU?

Lagi-lagi,
apa salah tubuhku?
Bila memang tubuhku salah,
adalah Tuhan yang menciptakannya dengan penuh keindahan
Maka bila anda menyalahkan tubuhku,tidakkah pernah terpikir...
Tubuh indah ini pemberian Tuhan
Lalu,
Apa salah tubuhku?
Sampai dijadikan lampu pengarah manusia-manusia ke langkah-langkah dosa
Sampai dijadikan simbol-simbol pelacur pemuas birahi yang membayangi pikiran-pikiran anda
Sampai dijadikan objyek keindahan manusia
Sampai harus dibungkus dibungkam diharamkan dihalalkan dikawinkan!
Di- Di- Di!!!

Ah perempuan!
Haruskah aku muak dengan keindahan yang Tuhan telah berikan
Karena mata-mata ini menatap penuh kebencian
"Kamu penyebab semua dosa!" kata mereka

Apa salah tubuhku?
Apakah karena Tuhan menciptakannya begitu indah?

Margonda, 8 Maret 2006

Happy International Women's Day!

Happy International Women's Day everyone. Perayaan ini dimulai dengan aksi protes RUU Pornografi/Pornoaksi di bunderan HI, sayang gue ga bisa ikutan. Lalu siangnya dilanjutkan dengan perjalanan Depok - Kuningan untuk menghadiri peluncuran dan diskusi buku Feminisme: Sebuah kata hati karya dosen filsafat dan feminis pentolan Indonesia, Gadis Arivia. Gue, Nosa, Tami, and Lisa siap sedia di halte Anggrek dari jam 2. Damn! hari ini Jakarta kayanya pindah ke Matahari.. puanaasss bgt!!! Setelah nunggu setengah jam patas AC 86 jurusan Depok - Kota ga dateng2 juga, sebel! Makanya kita memutuskan buat naek bis yg ke Warung Buncit, and nyambung naek Kopaja P-20 ke Kuningan. Kita turun di pasar festival jam 3:30 tepat... pas banget sama waktu acara diadain, beli minum di Dunkin Donuts, langsung ke klub rasuna.

Now here it is. Discussion. Something all human being on earth have been doing during whole their life. I love this smart discussion. And this event is a feminist celebration. And what surprises me, many of those who's actually very critical about the society and support feminism are actually male (male-feminist!!! Sluurrpp... for me their sex-appeal are twice bigger then ordinary guys) and women who's wearing jilbab (you know... most of those who's against feminism are religious people) But this discussion has changed my mind, especially when Prof.Dr.Siti Musdah Mulia (Guru Besar UIN) explains that actually religion doesn't contradict feminism. they actually could step the path together if only people re-interpret the Bible/Koran. I said to myself... pheww.. thank God. I always believe deep in my heart that God created us all... different, yet equal. And yes, Rocky Gerung SS as the moderator was very funny and 'nyantai', I think he's the right person for this discussion, and there was Maria hartiningsih, M.Hum (wartawan Kompas) too, as the speaker.

When I was there. I exacty know what I'm fighting for in life. At first I thought I'm fighting (only) for my kind, wich is women, but actually I don't... I'm fighting for all human-kind... by being a feminist.

Being a feminist doesn't mean that you are an anti-male. Anti-patriarchy as a sistem doens't mean that you're an anti-male. The same thing by against RUU Anti Pornografi/Pornoaksi, doesn't make you a sex maniac or porn lover. Simply, as a woman, I don't think the RUU could really protect women, it simply just gonna put more woman to jail. I actually feel intimidated by those RUU, I feel that as if the government hates my body. APA SALAH TUBUHKU??? APAKAH KARENA TUHAN MENCIPTAKANNYA BEGITU INDAH??? that's what I wrote in the white sheet at that event. And for sure, I believe that my body is my own... please do not politicize it!!! Yea yea.. those people claim theirselves to be the morality superhero.. but I think what best is to manage our morality first... before think of other's people morality. You know what they should do best if they really wanna save Indonesia's morality? Berantas korupsi! Bah!

Anyway... during the whole session, I really think that... I'm not in the wrong path. This is the thing that makes me what I am now. Some people might think that I'm a crazy bitch, male-haterz, whatever... but for sure...All I do is fighting for something I believe is right. And what is right for me, is equality. That's what feminism is all about.

Happy International Women's Day!

March 8, 2006

Sebuah Puisi Tandem Bersama Gema

Langkahi panggung terbuka
Dengan wajah berbeda
Cahaya membawa dunia
Dimana seseorang kenakan topeng pecinta

menarilah, seperti helai-helai sajak
meski perih
meski luka
menarilah, seperti helai-helai sajak

Seperti jelaga yang terbuka diantara lelangit jingga
Menangkap helai-helai sajak yang tersesat
Meski rindu
Meski pilu
Kutunggu kau di tengah kumulus kelabu

sepi paling giris adalah panggung kita
ngilu paling pedih adalah lagu-lagu kita
tetaplah menari,
senja masih begitu jauh
menarilah seperti impian rapuh

ritus apalagi yang kita punya selain kenangan?
dan luka
adalah sajak yang selalu datang, bukan?
menangkap helai-helai sajak yang tersesat
impian rapuh kita
dan luka
dan luka

dan luka
luka
yang menghidupkan kita

Margonda Raya, 3 Maret 2006 00:24

Pink: Thera
Purple: Gema

Bad Girl

When I was a teenager, I promised myself not to date guys whose already have a relationship. Because I don't want to be the bad girl, I don't want to be the evil (yet every person on earth has his/her own evil within) But what happening now is... the temptation in front of me... Damn temptation... of a commited guy.

I'm looking at the picture of a girl who seemed to have a perfect life. I know that smile. That is the smile of happiness that I barely ever had. I wish I can have that kind of happiness, oh wait... I once have it. But I lost it, or perhaps, happiness itself who's turning it's back on me. Damn, it was two years ago already. I had that smile, once... I was that happy once...

I don't wanna be the bad girl. I don't wanna be the bad girl. I don't wanna be the bad girl. I think this silly 'fun search' has to be over soon. As soon as possible. I don't wanna be the person who's taking away someone's happiness. Nope, that's not me. After the silly "dream date" he has given me... then it's over. I don't want to be the bad girl.

*See, this is the reason sometimes I don't trust boys. And worse, I barely even trust myself for this kind of case...

Some Witty Questions to be Answered

I got these questions from Sindro

if you were stranded on a desert island and could have only one piece of music to listen to, what would it be?
[+] midnight song - wonderbra (haha!)

if you were to die in a public place, exactly what spot would you choose?
[+] grand canyon, that's a public place rite? or maybe on the top of eiffel tower

if you had to have one piece of music softly playing in our mind for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?
[+] an ode - wonderbra (hahaa!!! again! don't worry... it's a slow ballad blues. And after hearing that damn Sembodo 'hitting' that drums, trying to catch the beat from the metronom, I'm getting sick of this song already)

If you could decide what will be written on your gravestone, what would you have inscribed?
[+]
Teraya Paramehta
Born January 14, 1985
Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you wake in the morning hush,I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starlight at night
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die!
~a poem by Mary Frye~

(damn.. I love this poem... ini wasiat gw ya teman2.. kalo suatu saat Tuhan uda manggil gw, tolong di 'stone' gw dipahat puisi kesayangan gw ini... thanks!)

if you could have any person from any time in history call you for advice, and they were to listen to what you told them, who would you want to hear them?
[+] Hitler, dear... please don't do such a thing to the mankind...

if you could have been the author of any single book already written, which book would you want to have penned?
[+] The American Tragedy - Theodore Dreiser (karena sekarang kelas urban Novel sedang membahas novel 800 hlm lebih itu.. haha) No... I wish I'm the one who's written "supernova".

if you had to give up your children to the care of someone famous, who would you pick?
[+] I dunno... have no idea... perhaps.. Mother Theresa?? She will take a very good care of my children. And my children will not be such a sinner like me...

if you could arrange a jam session with any musicians in history, who would you include?
[+] witty question... Ray Manzarek (The Doors) on keyboard for sure, Jimi hendrix on guitar, Flea (RHCP) on bass, drummernya Led Zepplin (forgot his name) and me as the vocalist (Jim Morisson, James Brown, and Janis Joplin can be my backing vocals... Hahaha!!! pede beraattt!!!) Hmm... such a nice combination... I would named the band "THE LEGENDS" hahaha

if you were to select a food that best describes you character, what food would it be?
[+] anything without sugar coz I'm not that nice...
anything with spice coz I think I'm hot...
(huaaaa.. noooo.... I know you're starting to hate me... I'm just kidding!)

The answer would be... chocolate mint ice cream, with lots of whipped cream and a cherry on top. Because I think minty taste is mysterious, choco is something easily loved (such a reverse of me), whipped cream is children's favorite since it reminds you of the cloudy heaven. And cherry... I just wish I could be a Cherry...

in conclusion... I wanna be a desert! haha...

Malam Yang Membosankan

Lagi-lagi malam ini... Membosankan!
Another thought of "What the heck I'm doing in life!!!" Damn.. I wanna get ri of this thought but it linger in my mind still... Damn, I feel like I have no purpose. This is dangerous...

Anyway... this is something I wanna write for today...

10 THINGS I WANT IN A LOVER... EVERYTHING I CAN FIND IN JIM MORISSON!!! (Grrr.. roarr... sluuurrrppp...)
1. Artistic
2. Poetic
3. Damn cute (roar...)
4. Romantic (really? not sure)
5. Gondrooonnnggggg
6. Nice body
7. Those lizard eyes... hmmm...
8. Good in bed (hahaha!)
9. Flower power
10. Philosophical

"I'm the lizard king!!!! I can do anything!!!"
muss u hunny!!!