A Conversation of Confused People (Part Two)

"I now know how to raise a child!"
"So, you're planning to have a child now?"
"I love those angleic innocent smile! I wish to have one of my own someday"
"Those angelic innocent smile will not last forever, and one day you'll lost the smile and you'll find a little evil asking for your money everyday"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm talking about teens"
"Oh"

The Conversation of Confused People

"So... are you planning to have a family of your own someday?"
"Yup..."
"Are you sure you know how to raise a child?"
"I think I'll adopt a puppy"

Catatan gak jelas...

If tall, dark and gorgeous is what you've been looking for your whole life, you're in for a big surprise. The love of your life is due -- but if you don't look under the disguise, you won't recognize them. - astrology.com

Hmm.... hehehe... don't really care about that right now, but anyway, yesterday I learn how to stand with my head (kopstand katanya namanya...) I can do it, but still need some help and need to lean a little bit to the wall. Hax hax... (WHAT THE MEANING OF THE MAKSUD!?!?!)

Seorang Perempuan

Seorang perempuan mengais sisa-sisa yang terbuang di sampah
Mencari diantara jejak-jejak kertas yang terbakar melalui ingatan waktu
Pernahkan ia dicintai selayaknya kisah dalam malam-malam penuh hantu di mimpinya?
Ia hanya mencari sisa-sisa cinta yang dapat bertahan dalam jiwanya
Sebelum semua itu habis terbakar rasa kosong yang tengah dideritanya
Ia masih ingin mempercayai makhluk bernama cinta, tapi rupanya cinta kurang kooperatif!
Masihkah cinta menginginkan eksistensinya di dunia?
Atau ia bahagia membiarkan dirinya terbakar menjadi abu?
Seorang perempuan mengais-ngais abu yang kini sudah menjadi debu, jauh tertinggal di bawah sana
Ayo! Jangan Menyerah! Pikirnya...
Karena perempuan itu tidak mau ngeaku kalah
Dan hanya tidak ingin menikah dengan kekosongan
Karena sepi perlahan mulai menggerogoti hatinya
Menyisakannya dengan lubang-lubang yang perlahan membusukkannya diam-diam

Bekasi, 22 Januari 2006

Perempuan itu... Aku?

Perempuan itu seperti inferno
Bercahaya dan membakar dunia
Dengan suara-suara bernada emosi
Tapi dia bukan aku
Meski serupa bayanganku
Dia perempuan yang datang dalam anganmu
Hanya karakter mimpi yang kuciptakan


Perempuan itu adalah alter ego
Sosok yang pernah tenggelam tiba-tiba menyeruak
Memberontak mengalahkan dunia paralel yang memenjarakannya
Perempuan itu adalah Id yang telah membunuh super ego
Dia ingin menjadi inferno
Setidaknya di atas panggung itu

20Jan2006

I deserve it...

2 pitcher of draught beer + cranberry vodca = a little tipsy...

(Damn, I'm soo easy to get high! Not proud of it...)

But I think I deserve a little party with the guys at Thursday Riot Parc... after months of torture in the damn yellow campus!!! I even didn't get any time to spend Chirstmas and New year holiday, I was studyig for final exam, doing lots and lots of research papers... So I guess this is it... a little night life won't give me any harm. Anyway, I'm very satisfied with the result... my GPA is 3,72 (Yipppiiieeee!!! Huuurrraaaayyyy!!! it's okay to be narcistic, right?) Anyway, It was my Birthday party too... (Pesta ulangan taun, kata anak2...) Spend some bugs for alcoholic beverages and a quality time with Wonderbra, enjoying the music (Uda lama ga nonton Upstairs!) and greeting some people I haven't seen for a while... Yg bikin nyaman kemaren sebenernya karena kebetulan orang2nya banyak yg gw kenal... coba kalo nggak, I'll be bored as usual.

So there I was, and a little bit taste of...

Freedom

(Finally... one and a half more year to go to finally get out from the campus!!!!)

Catatan Seorang perempuan di Usia 21

Langkahku dalam pertengahan perjalanan
Jejakku tertinggal, tertiup pudar
Mataku melihat pertengahan gambar
Tersisa dalam satu titik tergenggam erat
Jantungku masih berdetak kuat
Alirkan nyawa yang semakin sekarat
Mencicipi sejuta gelora
Bahkan rindu membakar sepi
21 tahun santap hidup!
Siap kembali membuka pintu-pintu yang masih tertutup

14Jan2006

Who am I?

Who are you? and who am I?

This feeling came in without knocking the door. Whatever. Sometimes I don't even know myself. The self consists of mutiple layers... all I know from Freud's theory are just the magnifico id-ego-superego. Read Sigmund Freud's book if you are willing to know more about this,I'm to lazy to explain it throu writing coz it's kinnda complex (but I know how to describe it "secara lisan") Anyway, I think the self is more complex than that. Okay, the three layers of the self by Freud are okay, it kinda helps me to knoing myself more. However, I need more than just that. I never relize the tru self of me. The real being of Theraya Paramehta. I thought I'm the bestfriend of myself, I'm the one who truly know about myself. But I'm not.

Who am I? I am Thera. 4 days later going to be 21 yrs old.
Who is Thera? Thera is a girl. An amateur writer. A female vocalist in a rock band. A student in University of Indonesia, majoring in English Studies. A member of a theater group. A member of Wiryasoekarta and Beaupain big family. A half-blood Dutch, half-blood Javanesse/Sundanesse/Makassarnesse (I don't even know my true roots). A dog-lover. Animal lover. Former debater. A narcist, yet sometimes willing to kill herself. A self-centered girl. Complex. Absurd.

What do you mean? I don't know. I don't even care to know.

I'm Thera.
Who is Thera?
Thera is just a girl.

Let me see the deepest layer of yourself
All I need is just a little trust
And I'll fall in love

2005-2006

The year passed as I close my eyes for a sec. I'm gonna miss my memory, I hope it could last forever in my heart and mind. I'm thankful for everything I've done and everything that happened to me during the whole 365 days...


"All great thought and all great deeds starts with a ridiculous beginning" - Albert Camus

Goodbye 2005
Another year is over
I'm ready to start another ridiculus beginning