Keraguan ini bikin aku jadi gila!

Gw ragu
Gw meragukan semua yg ada di depan mata gw
Gw bisa gila
Gawat

*Sayang, aku mao dipeluk...

I don't know when it'll really OVER!??!?!?!!?

Thera! That's enufff!!!!!
Till when you would walk after someone's shadow?
Till when you would walk with anxiety and anger?
Till when you would like to stuck in a moment and never set things straight and pass by the steps you've passed again and again?

Jesus Christ! I'm sick of this!

I'm sick of this conflict between me, myself, and I!
Why don't you just leave me alone and let me move on with my life, a**hole!!!

Sometimes I wish I could be someone else... sometimes I get tired of hating myself when I get this feeling... all over again...

The First Time Ever...

Yesterday night, I was iseng trying to find RTC UI FM since I'll be performing acoustic live on Moday, Oct 17. Then I found it, it was in 107,9 FM (such a pity for me, I just know this after 2 years in college) I was dizzy and sleppy already, all of a sudden I heard a familiar tunes... a quite familiar voice... HEY! It's my OWN VOICE!!! They actually playing "Ordinary Orgasm" on-air (yang belum di mixig ituuuh! hehehe) I was thrilled! Excited! I know... I know... you must have think I'm silly coz it was just a campus radio, but it was the first time ever I hear my own original song on a radio (And I have the right to be proud right?)

Hehehe... listen to 107,9 FM on Monday October 17, 2005. From 1 p.m till 2 p.m. I'll be performing acoustic live and we'll be interviewed! And don't forget to request our song on RTC anytime u like!

Gothic Fantasy Temptation VS Philosophical Puzzling Parallelism

Hmm... I was trying hard to find the best topic for my comparation - contrast essay assignment on writing V class. I was planning to write about movies or director, trying to compare two unique directors. The problem is, I don't know which one. I was thinking about comparing Mel Gibson (as director... I love his Braveheart and of course Passion of The Christ) with Quentin Tarantino, but I couldn't find Pulp Fiction. How could I write about Quentin without at least watch Pulp Fiction? I mean.. I've watched Kill Bill and Godfather trilogy (wait.. it was Tarantino's movies right?) but I don't think that's enuf unless I watch Pulp Fiction (pinjami saya dong...)

And then I thought about Clint Eastwood, I mean, he's like the living legend in Hollywood right? I've just watched Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River and it was awsome! He got his style... But when I read his filmography... weew... I need more time to search on him, then I lost my interest.

Finally I decided. The genious 'Gothic fantasy' Tim Burton and Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu (you know... the Mexican director that is well acclaimed for his only two movies; Amores Perros and 21 grams) Geez... I find out that actually there're a lot of crazy genious directors out there. Tim Burton is famous with his magical creepy fantasy while Inarritu is well-known for his philosophical humanist tragic drama with his puzzling parallel-style movies. I wonder how these people got their ideas from. Where did the inspiration come from? How can a director create such an inovation in story telling?

I think I won't be sleeping this night since I got this assignment... Excited. I love these two director I'm about to write in my essay. however, I haven't watch Corpse Bride... my bodat promised me to watch Corpse Bride together on Saturday, and I can't hardly wait! I've been waiting for this stop-motion animation since last year!

Three in a row!

September 27, 2005
Wonderbra Live at Mtv Motoalert FIB UI
Lovely audience but I hate how the EO treated us!

September 29, 2005
Wonderbra Live at Thursday Riot Parc
Such a nice place to blues... We played at 3 a.m in the morning right after The Brandals performed. I was buzzed a little bit because of the cheap beer (yea... I'm cupu!) but not drunk. Played 6 songs, and partying. I feel like it was our band's inisiation in the indie scene. I'm glad we made it this far, and we performed real nice...

r e a l n i c e . . . . .

October 2, 2005
Wonderbra Live at The Brandals 2nd album launch, Colours Cafe Thamrin.
At first we didn't take it seriously since we have less preparation. No real costume. No real reherseal. But when we arrived at Colours Cafe, damn... it sure was a big thing.. I mean... BIG! With all those press and all... Damn... this is The Brandals' event and we're in it!?!?! I mean... How many newbie band could have this kind of opportunity? We were very relaxed, without any preassure in front of such a kewl audience. So when the MC called our band's name, there we go, set our own instruments (we have no crew at all at that moment! Ari was out on a date!). I think the 1st song Die Die Baby Die didn't go well... That damn Sembodo dropped the goddamn high head symbal! Sh*t! I was quite ashamed but I acted as if nothing happened and kept singing and dancing. I was quite down for a while on stage, I thought we just making fool of ourselves in this goddamn kewl gig! Then, from the crowd, I saw a glance of a familiar smiling face behind the bar (that was him! Luv ya! Heehee.. :-*) that particular beautiful proud smile that I can only see when I'm up on stage, singing, and he's down there, watching me. Somehow it gave me more spirit! I was surprised that Die Die Baby Die got quite a great applause. Then we played Crossing The Railroad... This time the song went p.e.r.f.e.c.t! I love it... I love the sound, I love the crowd, I even love the smell of cigarrette around me. I saw some people dressed like The Upstairs' groupies (you know... super thight pants and strippy shirts! heehee) danced along this so-called disco-psychedelic-rock-blues song. I love to see them too even though I knew they were quite high. Then I came to the last song, Hell's Kitchen, that came as a blast. Love it!