There's only one way to find out!
All these new things... all these new friends... I thought I'll never survive those misrable state of mind of mine. But I did. And it seems now that life has given me more choices. I'm able to choose the conventional or my own invention kind of life. I dunno. I'm still confused but real happy for everything that I got lately in my life. Sure life got a lot of surprises for me. Enuf what Nosa said about life, and his favorite quotation from Albert Camus' "Life is not worth living". I could be loco if I hang out too much with you Wonderbra guys! You guys are a buch of 'too-much-reading-philosophy-craps'! And all of the sudden, all of those philosophical confersation about Camus, Sartre, Dostoyefky (how to spell it anyway?!), Simone Du Buvoir, and your favorite NIETZCHE!!! could make me become one of you!!! Nooo! I'm the most positive of all you guys, and it's not good to make me negative! Wonderbra could have lost it's charm! hahaha! But I'm falling in love with each of you everyday guys, really! But please.. stop freaking me out with that stupid behaviour of yours! Nanti kita ga terkenal2!!!
Loh... kok jadi nglantur... Enuf about WonderBrocoT! I dont want to talk about them anyway.. I want to talk about my life!!!
Soo.. okay... These past few weeks I had given a change in life to have another relationship in the future. And hell yes I want it! But I'm scared to death of it... how if I got dissapointed and become misrable again? and worse... how if I dissapoint someone again? The question of all this so-called traumatic psicological problem is only one; am I ready to have another relationship? Ahh damn.. this so-called relationship in this so-called kind of life... I'm actually getting bored of this kind of repetition in life, but what do you expect when you got born even when you ask not to be born? It's all secular... or linear if the Christian would say... whatever... for me all the same... all have this simple repetition, then its all lead to retorics (How to spell it?) These coincidences in life, wheter you believe it or not in coincidences, sometimes become a burden, become very very very damn boring, and yes... very hurting! However, with all do respect to all the people who dont believe in coincidences.., coincidences... can make us (at least it happens to me...) feel a little chemistry in life. I started to get this lifeful chemistry again... it remind me of my state of age when I was in highschool, when days and days are very boring but very lively. This lively chemistry in life that I had lost when I got that misrable state of mind in me long time ago, I got that back again... So wheter I'm gonna try another relationship or not with all the risks of being dissapointed or dissapoint someone again.. there's only one way to find out, rite?
posted by oengoemeloeloe at 11:01 PM
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