Hey Mama!

Lagi ngotak-ngatik friendster trus gue liat anaknya temen gue yang umurya sekitar 4 bulanan. Padahal temen gue itu setaun lebih muda dari gue. Well, dia bukan temen pertama gue yang udah punya anak sih. Tapi... duh gue nge-blank gini. Gak tau mao ngomong apa. Speechless waktu gue liat foto anaknya di friendster. Lucu banget, like an angel. Without wings of course.
Oh God... My friend is having a baby already. Waktu rasanya kaya dikejar setan, buru2 amat gedenya... sementara gue disini nggak bisa ngebayangin kalo suatu hari gue akan nyusul mereka, entah kapan. Si Bulan selalu bilang, kalo gue lebih sayang sama anak anjing dari pada anak manusia. nah lo... Nggak tau juga sih. I would have one of my own baby girl someday... Tapi untuk punya di tengah2 usia 20an... don't think so... It would end my advanture as a freelance lover! Huahahaa... Yang gue takutin adalah... Bagaimana kalo suatu saat that little angel without wings would turn into a little monster?!?!?! I'm imagening Lynneth in Desperate Wouswives. *Gulp*

Really... I'm being honest. I really really want to be a mom! Apapun yang ada di pikiran elo2 semua tentang gue yang "keliatannya-gak-bakal-bisa-gendong-anak-bayi" atau "keliatannya-lebih-bisa-ngurus-anak-anjing-daripada-anak-orang" dll... deep down inside I still longing for one. Gue cuma takut sama satu hal yang gue rasa jadi rasa takut semua orang yang pengen punya anak, I'm afraid I can't be a good mom...

Mainan

Perasaan itu...
Sebuah mainan
Bisa di main-mainin
Bisa diinjek-injek
Bisa dikelitikin
Bisa dilempar-lempar
Bisa dibakar
Bisa diremes-remes
Bisa dicium-cium
Bisa dijadiin jemuran pakaian
Bisa dimakan
Bisa dipotong-potong
Bisa diselipin ke selangkangan kalo lagi mens (kalo persediaan softex habis)
Bisa dijadiin bumbu dapur buat sayur yang rasanya kurang nampol
Bisa buat cebok pantat kalo abis boker
Bisa jadi makanan anjing
Bisa jadi rumah-rumahan rayap
Bisa jadi alat pensedot WC yang mampet
Bisa diapain aja!
Dibunuh juga bisa kok!

Kalo udah bosen
Tinggal buang ke tong
Terus beli yang baru di toko kelontong Pak Tjiam Kong
Toh harganya murah
Namanya juga perasaan
Kan cuma maenan
Itu menurut kamu lho...

Mami Janis

Mama Janis Joplin yang selalu mempesona... Iseng gw pengen post fotonya disini... heehee

Me! Ice Cream! Yumm...

I tried a quiz about "what ice cream flavor are you" and this is the result! hehehe...

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?
Find out at Go Quiz

About a (Best)Friend

Thera! Inget yah... Orang jahat itu nggak akan di bales Tuhan! Gue percaya
Tuhan itu ada, tapi Tuhan itu maha nggak adil! Dia nggak akan ngasih pelajaran
ke orang jahat begitu aja. Buktinya banyak orang jahat yang makin subur, makin
sehat, makin kaya, makin korupsi, makin bejad, makin parah dosanya, makin banyak
istrinya, tapi hidupnya enak-enak aja nggak dihukum apa-apa sama sekali!!! Elo
yang harus ngasi pelajaran dan gak boleh diem aja! Kalo kaum lo diem aja nggak
heran perempuan-perempuan di negara patriarkhi ini cuma jadi anjing tengik
pemuas napsu birahi laki-laki!!! Nggak heran kalo perempuan di negara ini cuma
sekedar objek! itu kenyataan kalo lo hanya menyerahkan semuanya ke Tuhan tanpa
bertindak!!! I do believe in hell!!! Coz' we're living in it!!!

This is why I love Nosa. Seorang temen yang sering nimba beban negara ke pundaknya seorang diri. He knows how to make life seems sooo misrable, he knows how to burn my rage, my anger, in a positive way. Indeed I really wanna punch him in the face when he said "kaum lo cuma anjing tengik pemuas napsu birahi laki-laki" but he got a point in saying that. Pheew.. Nosa really is one such unique friend. Kadang ngeselin, kadang minta pengen ditabok, tapi (Argh I hate to admit) most of the times kata-katanya bener... not really "most of the times" well... mayan sering sih... Phew...

Liang Luka

dan kala tarikan belati meneteskan darah
memberikan kenyataan bahwa luka itu indah
perih kah, kekasih?
kau simpan kecupan mautku
bawa ke liang kuburmu
di bawah tanah kita bercinta
menggali sisa-sisa perih yang mungkin masih ada
perih, kekasih
luka itu terbuka lebar
Penuh darah, penuh nanah
nyanyikan warna biru kelabu, merah kirmizi menyayat-nyayat luka
kau beri aku perih dari ciuman mautmu
gores pelan-pelan
terimalah luka, simpan selamanya
luka itu nyata
yang kau dapat dari ciuman mautmu
simpan cintaku selamanya
di liang kuburmu

perih kah, kekasih?
aahh, luka itu nyata
lihat warnanya yang menghitam
yang membalur percintaan kita
simpan selamanya di liang kuburmu

Bekasi, 13 Juni 2006


*Special thanks to Gema for helping me get my poetic productivity back

Kekasih,
Aku tersenyum sajikan kenyataan indah
Bahwa hidup tidak selamanya indah

A Confession for Ex-Boyfriends...

Dear all my ex-boyfriends...

Hello all..

Suddenly I miss u guys. So how's life? I heard one of you has just graduated and engaged, ready for settling down coz you've already met the girl of your dream. One of you now living abroad, and most probably you will never return to Indonesia (hope that I'm wrong). One of you has just finished your TKA, and now climbing up the entertainment career as a musician, well done. Some of you have another relationship with another girl... and so on, and so on. Some of you have changed, someof you remain the same.

Mine? Well... sometimes I stepped the wrong path, yet I never regret my desicion. I've met another guy, and another one, and another one, and so on... I thougt it would work out sometimes, but it doesn't. I'm still here now. Single and damn happy. Dreaming the same dream, hoping the same thing, believe in the same divine being. I once hated you guys, but no, I never meant it. I love you guys no matter how bad you guys treated me long time ago. I realized that I was -most of the times- a bad girlfriend. But I swear, I never cheated! Not even once! Well... Sometimes I have one or two "teman-tapi-mesra" during hard times but I always return to you again. What makes our relationship doesn't work is just that "we weren't meant for each other", that's all. I am still searching for my inner peace, I am still trying to tame my mind, I am still trying to be the bestfriend of myself. Sorry for the past that I've dissapointed you guys most of the times, and I also forgive you guys for dissapointing me. Phew... it was loong loong time ago.

I just want you guys to know that... I'll always love you!!! It's do damn cliche, but that's from the heart. No matter haw bad our experiences together, I am thankful for that. Coz every moment we've shared together, every laughter, every smile, every tear, and every pain... form me into what I am now. Every bad experience makes me a thougher girl than ever, every sweet experience makes me a more thankful person than ever. Everything, makes me a better person. Thankyou. And I love you all for that. I miss you guys too... Please keep in touch.

Love,
Thera

trouble

If you're looking for trouble
You come to the right place
I'f you're looking for trouble
Just look around at my face
I was born standing up
And I was talking back
My father was a green-eyed mountain jack
Coz' I'm evil!
My middle name was misery
I'm evil!
So dont'cha mess around with me!!!!

Elvis Presley - Trouble



Owh please. yeah owh please. Yeah yeah Yeah.
I love this war because I'm a bout to win.
This is all a chess game. You must have a very strong strategy. You must wathc out for every move, every word, every thing. You must not do the wrong move and tell the wrong word. It's kindda scary coz you'll never know what's your enemy is up to.
But I know I'm about to win. All those blood and tears will be paid off soon.

Damn, I'm evil.
Don't you mess around with Thera!