Early 20s

Photo taken at Celcius Cafe Plasa Semanggi. October 15, 2006.
Atas (ki-ka): Asryan, Lisa, Orbek, Cindy, me, Icha.
Bawah (ki-ka): Sisi, Dinda, Echa, Achi, Rinda, Bryn.
Look how ugly I was in the picture...

Omygosh, my highscool friend is going to get married on December already. And my highschool friends are planning to make a 'piala kawin bergilir' for the class. Oh well, time really passes real fast and sometimes I think I don't even have time to blink. Highschool times aren't my best time in my life, yet there are some stuff that really been the best moment ever. How imature we were back then. Those grey area.

And now here we are. Young adults in our early twenties. For us, we are one pack of a mature being. However, my experiences of having been in realtionship with some people who are in their late twenties or even early thirties tells me that, for them, we are just a buch of clumsy people... 'real life' newbie... greeny brats.

We're still in the phase of 'just started to plan life' thingie, which is sooo uncool for them. Oh no, I'm stereotyping... Oh well, it happens to everyone I guess. Including us when seeing someone waaayyy younger than us. We do underestimate younger people. I assume that it happens because of: (1) jealousy, since they still have a long way to go to experience life that we already had, (2) the feeling of being superior, just because we have more experience then people that are younger, and (3) we're in a whole different generation, we speak different language, we have different perseptions about lots of things, we enjoy different kind of mucis, etc.


Now lets get into a much more complicated case. This is a conversation between me and Nosa (more or less) in the middle of the traffic jam on the way to Cipete for gathering's thanksgiving...

"I'm afraid of being old. (Not because of death, I know him very well...) being conservative and all... I can't imagine myself being above 27"

"I know what it's like... I mean... those who are above 27 have a tendency of thinking into a more simplicity way of life, you know, they're all tired of the idealism and all they had during their 20s. They started to be in the life's construction... but in some cases, they are all rebel in heart no matter how old they are, but mostly they became conservative at the end. 'Get a job-getting married-having children-having grandchildren-died' kind of life. I think they are all sick of being different from the constructed people, and they decided to be in the construction, even when they don't want to"

"I know. I don't want it. I love this freedom. I am working right know, but there's still freedom in our way of thinking. I can't imagine losing it when I turn 30, I'm afraid I forced myself to be constructed"

"Thank God we're studying in Sastra. We can still living in the liberated-way-of-thinking area until our death. well, I hope I can... but can we?"

According to the older people, this conversation would be an evidence of our immatureness. The so-called "Peter Pan syndrome". But what the hell, we are still in our early 20s! Our mind has just been liberated. We just learned philosophy and cultural studies (blame the doctrines!!!) We are little birds, just flew from our cage. We just started to walk thru the other path of life. We just jumped out of 'the box'. We just planned our life or just decided no to plan it. We don't want to grow old, not because we are afraid of being old or afraid of death.

We are afraid of losing our liberty in our mind. Because we love our freedom.

maybe this is why famous rockstar died young... Joplin, Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kobain, etc...