"Once you lost something in life, you'll find something new in return"

Awwwhhh! Auuu! Aiiihh!
Tolong… aku cinlook! Huahaha…
Tapi kenapa dia harus udah punya pacar? Huhuhu…kenapa? Kenapa? Kenapa?

Well, it’s been a long time since my last “butterfly effect” inside… Udah lama gue nggak ngegebet orang sampe kaya gini, hix hix…. Sedih… kenapa dia baru muncul sekarang? Kenapa ga dari dulu aja?!?! Kata orang2 sih dia nggak banget karena kepribadiannya yg keras, beda, dan unik… Tapi entah kenapa justru hal itu yg jadi daya tarik dia ke gw, apalagi waktu dia hafal mengucapkan barisan kata2 Shakespeare…. Wooowwww…..

Ahhh… kucruuuttt!!!
Kenapa dia baru muncul sekarang!?
Dan kenapa dia harus udah punya ceweeee?!?!?!

Oh iya… Fun stuff and good news came last week! We (wonderbra) gonna perform at Jakarta Bercahaya! Yippie… Hurray… I thought we didn’t pass the audition, but we did pass! And tomorrow I gonna perform on stage in a musical drama; “Laki-Laki di Bawah”… Aaawwwhhhhhh…. Life hasn’t been this nice since… since I last met him at the wrong time and place… Iya, kejadian itu muncul dua minggu yang lalu, dimana sempet bikin gw sedih, stress, panik, dll… Untung sekarang semuanya baik-baik aja… And life’s getting a little hectic lately, hectic but fun… I love it so damn much.. and pleeeeaaassseeee God….. don’t let me fall in love with him! Jangan… jangan… awwwhh… but I just don’t know wheter I can help it you know… He’s sooooo charming for me J

Soal dua minggu lalu.. jadi gini… perasaan gw bener2 campur aduk karena gue ketemu dia “the one who shall not be named” (but I think you all know it lah.. I talk about him in almost every posting in this blog, huehuehue) di acara kampus sebelah. He and the gank, and I was surprised, mereka, yang dulu pernah jadi sahabat2 gue, yang dulu selalu sama2 gue, maen ke daerah gue tanpa bilang2 gue, tanpa ngabarin gue. Apa mereka ga mao ketemu gue? Dan yang paling bikin gue sakit waktu ngeliat mereka… damn… I was replaced already by that girl… It used to be me.. it used to be me as the part of the gank… It used to be me who they goofy around, and hang out with. Dan saat itu gue sadar kalo gw bukan bagian dari mereka lagi. Gue bukan sahabat lagi. Dan waktu visual itu muncul di mata gue… damn… gue bener2 ngerasa kehilangan.. bener2 ada yang ilang… waktu gue pulang gw Cuma nisa nangis dan nangis dan nangis… hix hix… Funny isn’t it? It’s funny how life can change that fast, gue bukan hanya kehilangan “dia” tapi ternyata gue kehilangan mereka… Hix hix.. I was soooo saaaad… Tapi sahabatku Titis yang buaaaiikkkk ngasih kata2 yg sangat menghibur…. “Once you lost something in life, you’ll find something new in return”, and she’s right! Now I have my own friends… my own band… my own life…

Satu lagi yang bikin gw stress waktu itu adalah guiltiness. Damn. I hate that. Waktu gue denger lagu yg dia tulis buat gw… aahh.. lagu itu indah, bagus bgt, walopun isi liriknya sebenernya terlalu nyakitin buat gw, walopun itu tetep kenyataan yg harus gw terima. Kenyataan kalo dia bukan milik gw lagi (Hey Thera! Remember that nobody owns anyone, stupid) Kenyataan kalo seperti di lirik lagu itulah yg selama ini dia mao, walopun semua itu terlalu nyakitin buat gw sebenernya, aaah.. sudahlah… nobody owns anyone, we are a free individuals. Dan gue ngerasa gulty banget... atas semua negative thoughts that came to my mind all this time, coz actually he is a good person, and I'm the bad one...

Sekarang gw lg baca “The Lover” Marguerite Duras, reading this novel is like reading a very looong poem. The choose of words is beautiful and the writer sure have a skill in swithching point-of-view at the right time. I don’t’ know the ending yet but I think it’s gonna be beautiful…

Eh eh… ada quote indah yg mao gw kutip…

"in omnibus requim quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro" ~Thomas a Kempis

"In every place I have searched for peace,and I found it nowhere else but in a corner with a book"

Hmmm… udah lama nggak nulis blog, sekalinya nulis, sampe sepanjang ini… hehehe…

Now... allow me to taste a sweet dream, please...